First time having solids.

Lilia had her first ever solids today, at 11.10am. She didn't know what to make of it at first, but after a few spoons she decided she didn't like it. She loves infacol so I think she really loves flavour (it's orange flavoured), but rice isn't flavoured. So I think that's why she didn't like it, but then again it may just be because it's a new texture, etc.
She as willing to learn to eat, etc, but towards the end she got really tired and just whinged until I gave her her bottle for her to go to sleep. She did finish the pot though, not that there was much in there.
She's going to have solids for lunch this weak, lunch and tea the week after, then breakfast lunch and tea the week after that. Once she's used to having 3 feeds, I'll add flavours and build up the amounts as I am going along.
Photos below. Of course I have so much more - I just don't feel the need to post them all over my blog :)

Half way there!

So as I briefly mentioned in a previous post, Lilia is almost rolling over. She gets onto her side, flings one leg over, but doesn't put enough force behind her kick in order to completely roll over onto her stomach. So she isn't quite there, but she is nearly there! On another note (a random one) Lilia turned twenty weeks yesterday! I can't believe it. That's five months - nearly half a year! I'm losing count, whenever people ask me how old she is I have to stop and think, it's just going way too fast! I always want to say "ten weeks" or "thirteen weeks" or "six weeks" etc, but I never think of saying twenty! Because it really doesn't feel like she has been here for that long.
Anyway here are some pictures, as promised, of my little girl almost rolling over!

(I know this is nothing to do with her rolling over, I just think it's SO cute!)

Having a routine.

Lilia is starting solids tomorrow (I wanted to wait until six months but she is five months and I feel she is really ready - my health visitor agrees) so I want to get into a routine to keep her in. Not only for that but because she is in her own cot as well (she is doing REALLY well guys - stayed down from 11-12ish until 8ish!).
So I have decided that our routine is going to completely change, which will be hard at first but totally worth it.
WHAT WE DID BEFORE - Lilia would wake up in the morning at varying times - 6ish-8ish usually. I'd give her her feed and then get her back to sleep. We'd then wake up around 11ish. We'd get up and play a little before she has her afternoon nap around 1-2ish. She'd then stay awake from 3-4 until around 6ish, where she'd have a bath before or after. She'd go to sleep in the night whenever she wanted - because we stayed in bed so late in the mornings, I wasn't tired in the nights so I usually stayed up 'til like 1am. Then the routine would start over. She was sharing my bed with me when we were in this horrible routine. Don't judge me from this routine - I am young and I am learning. Now we are in a much better one so please, no hurtful comments on my parenting.
WHAT WE DO NOW - Lilia still wakes up 6ish-8ish, and depending on whether she had a feed 4+ hours ago or not, I will feed her (usually she wakes up for her last feed around 10,11ish). We then get up completely and go downstairs. She goes in her bouncer for me to have my breakfast (I usually put cartoons on to entertain her while I eat as she hates being ignored or bored) and when I'm done we play. Usually 1-2 hours later she will get tired again because she is used to going straight back to sleep, plus she is still only little. So I put her up in her cot for a nap and have a shower, get dressed, wash and sterilise bottles (if I have time!) etc, before she wakes up. This nap usually doesn't last very long, around 1-2 hours, 2 hours at the very most.  After her nap we chill out for a while; Lilia stays in her chair and I will either go on my laptop or do some chores or something. Then we play and I put her down for tummy time for her to learn to roll over (she is NEARLY there - she gets onto her side, but can't get further.. I have photos to upload for a whole separate post of rolling), I sit near her and talk to her/encourage her, etc. She will then get fed; for her next feed I will now be giving her baby rice. I just feel that this feed (being around 12-1ish probably) is a good time to start her on solids. We will both be not as tired as we would in the morning or night, and I will definitely be more patient with her as she learns. She usually likes to have a nap after her bottle feeds around this time, so she'll probably have a nap in her cot after her rice feed too. After her nap we play until it is time to feed her. I feed her and try to keep her awake until her feed after that. In between those two feeds I bath her. Her last feed downstairs is usually around 9ish, then I put her up in her cot. She stays there then until the morning. She does sometimes wake up for her next feed, but not all the time. If she does, I will give it to her - along with a cuddle - then get her back to sleep.
I love this routine and think it will work wonders in teaching her how things go as she gets older!

So yeah, this post makes it known, but I'll say it anyway.. LILIA IS STARTING ON THE BABY RICE TOMORROW!! I'm SO excited. It's just a major milestone, it signifies how much she's growing up and I just can't believe it! I will be taking lots and lots of photos :) I can't wait! I had my heart set on waiting until she was six months - I felt like I HAD to do it because that's what is said to be best since I didn't breast feed for very long - but she was ready earlier. She's having 7oz of milk and it fills her for a little while, but she doesn't wait four hours to have her next feed. I tried giving her 8oz, but she just leaves the extra ounce anyway, so I think she's definitely ready. Oh well, she may not be the 'best' age, but she's only a month out and I think starting now would be better for Lilia as a person anyway, not as the majority :D

Probably post tomorrow about rolling over and solids! Photos will be included.

I need to rant!

- History which will explain a few things -

James has a brother, Daniel, who slept with a, what only can be described as, psycho's boyfriend. He caused a lot of trouble for James, and came knocking on James' mother's house and threatening her, etc. He got sent to court and he has been charged with 11 things. I'm not going to get into everything that happened, but Daniel now lives in hiding from this guy with his now ex girlfriend. Daniel and the girl are now engaged.

Daniel and James argued over the psycho threatening James' mum and he beat James up. I shouted at Daniel, telling him he as stupid - James was only sticking up for his mother, which he shouldn't have done because it was DANIEL'S mess to begin with! Anyway James' sister Coral and I ended up arguing because I shouldn't have got involved. I thought that was a fair point so I apologised to James and Coral for getting involved, and causing any more trouble (I didn't, but I apologised anyway) and I apologised to Daniel for ever having a go at him. I told him I was wrong and he was really short and rude with me after I apologised. In my opinion I shouldn't have apologised in the first place! Not to him anyway. What he did was truly sick and wrong and I do NOT agree with it at all! But I sucked in my pride and apologised, to get a measly 'ok' back from him and he didn't even apologise to James.
This was way back before I was pregnant, and he hasn't spoken to me since. James is also waiting for an apology. Which we know will never come.
I went down to see Daniel and his girlfriend so they could meet Lilia, and I've spoken to his girlfriend once since. This was when Lilia was like three months old. Dan said hello to me and wasn't really rude, but he wasn't exactly friendly either.

Anyway.. My rant. - James was texting his brother about Lilia and they were both speaking better than they have spoken in months, if not years. He mentioned that Dan should see Lilia again and Daniel agreed. He then texted a second after agreeing saying "but try not to bring Isabella if you can, you know what I think of her". Well. James was absolutely FUMING. He phoned Daniel and screamed down the phone to him - he said that at the end of the day I'm the mother of his daughter and the mother of Dan's niece. They are now not speaking (this only happened this morning) and it's apparently James' fault. James' mother said she doesn't want to get involved and she has said that James shouldn't have argued, he should have just agreed.
I don't really care what Daniel thinks of me to be honest, that's not was pissed me off. It was the fact that only James stuck up for me.. Then HE got made out to be the bad guy! Lilia does not go ANYWHERE without my permission. And if I don't like where she's going but I feel she should go (ie to visit family) then I go with her. Daniel smokes dope and him and his girlfriend's family all smoke in the house with no windows or doors open. I would HAVE to go down there with Lilia to make sure that if they start smoking I can take her out of the house. But no. James was basically told I am unwanted there.
I don't want to deprive Lilia from her Uncle, but at the end of the day I am her MOTHER. If he wants anything to do with her then he obviously has to have something to do with me! I'm not stopping him from seeing her, but I am just saying that he will have to start being a bit nicer to/about me if he wants her to go down to where he lives! Because she certainly isn't going without me! I know I got involved when I shouldn't have, but how the HECK am I the bad person?! I stuck up for someone innocent and told someone that what they did was wrong. Okay, I admit, I could have said it a lot nicer. But at the end of the day he beat up my boyfriend (at the time) for no good reason. In fact it was for him doing something that he should have done himself! He brought all the trouble to his mother's door so he should have sorted it, not James!
Ugh. So James told me Daniel said that about me, and he said it was really unfair and he got so upset about it. But now James is the bad person according to his family. And so am I for wanted to keep an eye on my daughter when she goes down there! His family have said Lilia should be able to go without me.
Do you think I'm being unreasonable in wanted to make sure no one breathes any type of smoke- especially WEED- in her face?! Because I certainly don't! James won't go down there and no one else would keep an eye, so it's up to me! If they don't want me down there then fine, but Lilia is NOT and NEVER WILL go down there without me!

So I am sitting here chilling with a glass of wine while Lilia babbles away in her bouncer. It is 11:40pm and she's WIDE awake. She had her jabs and slept since them (I tried waking her but in the end I gave in - she obviously needed the rest) so now she is wide awake when it comes to me wanting to go to bed! Great, ha ha!

Happy Halloween!

This photo was taken a few days ago, well more like 1-2 weeks ago! But because I will be out on Halloween (we are going to a little party for kiddies down James' Grampa's) I thought I'd post it now rather than on Halloween. My little girl has grown loads, and she looks extra cute in her little costume!

Happy Halloween! Love from Bella and Lilia. x

A much needed update!

Okay, so I know I haven't posted a proper post in a very long time! But that's all going to change, I hope! I want to get back to normal with my blogging, and blog at least once a week if I can. I will try to blog every other day, but obviously that depends on whether something actually happens in my life!
So because I'm going to start updating you all more often, I thought a MAJOR update of my life, Lilia's life, Lilia's development, etc, was needed! So here we go;

Lilia
I pretty much updated you all with what was going on in my post below this one.. She's going to start solids next week, she's in her cot (or i'm trying to get her into it!) and she's nearly five months (she will be twenty weeks - which is five months - on the Sunday coming). She's in size three nappies and she has 7oz of hungrier baby milk. She doesn't need to be put up yet, she sometimes doesn't have a whole seven, but she gets hungry before her next feed is due (she usually goes 4hourly but she's been going 3-4hourly mostly now - she went two hourly last night!) and gets unsettled unless she has a top up. I think milk fills her enough at the start, but it's kinda like a salad.. It fills you up at the time, but you're hungry again later anyway!
She is such a good baby, in all aspects of babyhood (lol - I struggled for a better word!). She is pleasant with every person she meets, she's always smiling and laughing, she will be quiet through most things, she's happy to sit in her bouncer and entertain herself for an hour (though she does get bored as she cannot reach out and grab things intentionally yet. She is teething and loves to chew on my finger! I can't really think of much else that I should update you all on - it feels like nothing has changed at all since I last posted, though I know probably EVERYTHING has.

ISABELLA
So nothing exciting ever happens in my life - apart from all of Lilia's milestones, of course. I don't have much of an update for you guys on myself. I don't tend to take notes or anything. I find I'm letting my own life pass by me and I don't pay attention, because I would rather watch Lilia's life change every second. I should really concentrate on the both of us rather than just her. Because I know I'll let everything go if I just watch my daughter. I need to watch my own back too.
But anyways, I went out for that coffee with James. He was already waiting there for me with my favourite frappucino and a slice of cake. He fussed Lilia for around two hours, right up until she fell asleep. Then it was the time I dreaded - time for us to talk.. I was so wrong, it actually wasn't that bad. We got along, and he made me laugh. We now talk a lot, and it's not just about Lilia. We see eachother often and it's really great spending time as a family, even if we aren't properly together.
Yeah. James and I aren't together. We're flirting a lot, but nothing has come off it. He hasn't asked me and I won't give in and ask him myself. But I do think we should give it another try. Not just for Lilia's sake, but for ours too.
Other than that, nothing has really happened at all. I got called a slut for kissing two guys in the whole (almost) five months that my daughter has been born. By my 'best friend' who has cheated numerous times, and doesn't even know who the father to her newborn son is. Yeah, for those of you who didn't know why James and I broke up - I kissed a guy. Well, a guy kissed me. And it messed my head up. I didn't want anything to do with that guy, but I didn't regret kissing him. I didn't feel bad because of James for one second. I didn't push Ferdinand (the guy) off me, and I didn't intend to either. I don't know. I broke up with James because I thought that if I could let a guy kiss me and not even think about what James would say, or even what I was doing to him, etc, then I couldn't have loved him. But I did love him. Still do. Always will. I just learnt that the hard way.

Lilia is growing too fast!

Lilia is almost five months old now! I have tried and tried to keep her off solids until six months, however I think she is ready now. I am planning on getting advice off my health visitor when I see her on Thursday for her jabs (3 weeks late, I know - but she was two weeks behind anyway). Of course I will consider her advice and keep it in mind, but I am almost definitely going to give Lilia her first spoonfuls of baby rice on Monday.
In other news, I spent all day doing her cot today. It is now assembled and ready for her to sleep in. This is the first night I will be trying to get her into her own bed - I was co-sleeping before (unplanned, of course!). So far it is 10:23pm and she has been up in her cot TWICE and she is now wide awake downstairs kicking away on her changing mat. I am planning on doing controlled crying, but she made herself sick and I just can't deal with her acting that way. She's ill anyway so I'm just going to ease her into her cot in a slower, more gentle, way. I think I'll allow her to chill downstairs until her last feed. Then it's time for bed. If she doesn't go to sleep, then I will leave her. If she starts crying too much and acting like she was acting before... I'll put her in my bed next to me but won't touch her, talk to her, or make any eye contact. It's going to be so hard but she needs to sleep in her own bed now it's a cot.

My little girl is just growing up too fast. WAY too fast. I can't believe she is so grown up - laughing, smiling, in a cot (sort of!), having solids (or will be next week!). It's just completely crazy and I don't know where time is going!
I do have a major update post to do - where I will explain things in full detail - since I haven't written a proper post in SO long. I want to get back into blogging, I've just had a hectic life! I'll try and write my update post telling you all about my life and Lilia's too when I have time. Which hopefully won't be that far into the future!