Lilia Jade ♥

On November 2nd 2010, my life changed forever. I found out that I was going to be a mother. This news was really hard for me to process; I was going to be in charge of a life - of raising a person in the right way.. I could no longer afford to make any mistakes. It wouldn't just be me who would suffer the consequences anymore.

I soon came 'round to the idea of a little life being inside me. I was growing an actual person in my tummy - someone who would one day be jsut as big as I am right now.. And that's the best feeling in the world. I felt like I had some kind of super power.

As my pregnancy went on, I watched my belly grow and grow. With each new centimetre my stomach stretched, another tonne of love poured from my heart for my child. It's weird how you can love someone so much when you've never even met them.

Finding out I was going to have a little girl made me so so happy. I had images of us being more like best friends than mother and daughter (kinda like Gilmore Girls, aha!)... And I'm determined that it's exactly what we'll be like.

I couldn't wait to meet this wonderful creation that my boyfriend and I had made. I had so many questions running through my mind - like 'what will she be like?' 'who will she look like?' etc..

Near the end of my pregnancy, I was growing more and more impatient. I couldn't wait to meet this wonderful stranger much longer. It was weird.. I'd been growing her inside of my body for so long, yet I knew nothing about her. With every kick I wished I could exchange it for a kiss or a cuddle off her.

Being in labour was the most exciting time for me. Just knowing that soon all the questions my mind had been asking will be answered made me so happy - I couldn't wait to meet my little girl and finall give her all the kisses and cuddles I'd waited 39 weeks and 2 days for.

When Lilia was first placed on my chest my eyes filled with tears. I kissed her straight away (and ended up with blood on my lips, ha ha!) and just stared at her little face. I couldn't believe that I had made such a beauty!

My baby girl is my entire world. I stay awake just to watch her sleep, even though I'm half dead from the sleep deprivation. She's my entire world, and honestly Ican't believe I ever survived without her! I've never known a love so strong.

I just don't want her to grow up. Although it's hard that she relies on me for everything, I know that it will be even harder as she begins to learn how to be independent and no longer needs me. I want to give her everything and anything that she ever wants, but I know I won't be able to. There's just so much I want to do in order to thank her for being in my life. She's given me the best gift anyone could ever ask for. I honestly don't deserve such a beautiful baby girl.