Being a mummy;

Being a mother is the most emotional role that I have ever played. I've found myself crying, laughing, fearing, being proud, being worried, loving someone so much it feels like my heart will explode, etc.. All that the same time. My emotions are running wild, and it's not due to my hormones being all over the place. I will be this emotional forever now. Sometimes I just watch my baby and cry... Because I'm so lucky, because she's beautiful, because she's mine, because I don't deserve her, just simply because.
Being a mother has allowed me to respect people a lot more than I did before. I certainly respect women more than I did. We truly are miraculous creatures! I have no idea how we do what we do.. But we do. To be able to raise a child is one of the hardest things to accomplish.. But to be willing to let them go is even harder. And that's why I think my mother is the most respectable woman in the world. My mum was willing to let me grow up; let me be independant. She let me move out, she let me think that I knew everything and she let me do what I wanted because as always - I knew best. A mother is the one person that every child needs most. And when it came down to me becoming a mother.. All I wanted was my mother.
Being a mother has helped me let go of any anger I have with people, and taught me to concentrate on only the positives.. Take James, for example.. He is a complete and utter twonk. But I have him to thank for my beautiful daughter. She wouldn't be who she is if it wasn't him who helped me make her.. She wouldn't be as gorgeous. He is the one who has given me this amazing, ongoing experience, to look forward to. I'm actually grateful that I got pregnant. It has taught me a lot, and has been the best thing to ever happen in my entire seventeen years and (almost) ten months of life.
Being a mother is a massive learning curve.. I've already learrnt so much. Not only how to make bottles up and the rules that come with them, or any little thing that most people already know, but I've learnt how to function on broken sleep. I've leant all the hardships that come with being a mum, how much emotion is involved in parenthood, and that there are times where you feel you can't go on - but there are much more times where you wouldn't change anything in the world. Being a mother may be extremely hard, I've learnt that, but it's definitely worth it.. And I've learnt that too. I learnt it very quickly.
Being a mother means my time isn't mine anymore. I spend any spare moment I get sterilising bottles, preparing baths, packing changing bags, tidying up, etc.. But I couldn't think of a better way to spend the time. It's making sure that my Princess has the best start in life, and it's putting her first. That's the best way to spend any free time, in my opinion :).
Being a mother is EXPENSIVE. With no income (I haven't started claiming anything yet), I've learnt just how hard it is to provide things for a baby - especially since I'm so young. A box of formula, which lasts between one and two weeks if I'm lucky, is around £7. A packet of two teets is around £5. Washing powder (believe me, this is a necessity for mothers!) is around £10. I use Fairy Non Bio, and the one I buy is enough for a good few washes.. I went through that, and two bottles of Comfort Pure, in about a week! Terrible! As for nappies and wipes, I'm not sure how much they cost as my mother has bought all my nappies and wipes for me so far since I haven't applied for benefits yet, and she bought in bulk anyway. But I'm sure even if they're on offer or something they're still going to cost a lot because nappies are something a mother needs a lot of for a very long time! I haven't had to worry about the cost of clothes, or stuff such as the pram, moses basket, crib, cot, etc.. Because I've been lucky enough to have had everything given to me for free, or bought for me from others.
Being a mother has only made me wish I could do more. I can only do my best for my darling daughter, and there's days where i feel she deserves so much more. But I wouldn't give her up for the world; she's my entire life, entire world... My everything. I honestly can't wait to have more! Which is something I never thought I'd say, as even ast the end of my pregnancy I was determined Lilia was my first and last! But I do miss being pregnant, ha ha!