I really need to vent but if I put a Facebook status then I'd get shit off James' sister, and if I try to talk to James about it he'd juts argue with me and tell me I'm being a controlling bitch or something..
But OH MY GOD! I can't even describe how annoyed I am! My fingers are going too fast on this keyboard for me to even make any sense because I just have SOO much I need to get off my chest, and it's just like AAAAGHH!!
Okay, so James smokes weed. Please don't judge him because of it, where he grew up everyone did it and you know that once you get started... Well anyway, I didn't have a problem with it provided he didn't lie about doing it to me like he used to (he used to say he'd given up, but smoked it all the time behind my back). My friend who lives opposite me (I was in the hostel at the same time as her) has a boyfriend who smokes weed too. So the boys get together and have a joint every now and again and my friend and I get together with our babies and do something fun.. I didn't mind him having a spliff here and there because it meant he made a friend with someone in my street and I know it was nice for him to have one while we were having a barbecue, etc. (He did NOT smoke around the children and neither did my friends boyfriend, they went away to do it. Smoking around Lilia is something I do NOT tolerate, especially when it's weed!!!!) So anyway, I haven't minded it at all up until now. James got a new job Monday which means we barely spend any time together at all. He was meant to be staying over tonight and I was planning a nice film night with a -ahem- romantic ending, if you catch my drift. I was really looking forward to Lilia spending some time with her dad as well. But he was in a mood with me when I got in (he arrived before me - he has a key) and didn't speak to me decently for about half hour to an hour after I got in. Then by the time he was speaking to me again my father had arrived to fit a carpet in Lilia's bedroom so he went off to help him. Then by the time they were done, my friend came over. So we had spent no time together and it was already half eight. Lilia was tired so I was hoping he'd cuddle her and put her to bed and then we could spend some time together. Instead all I got was "I'm going over the road to have half a joint. Do you mind?" UMM, YES?! I said do what you want to, and he went.. I said it sarcastically, hoping he'd think "oh wait, she does care and she's right - I'd rather spend time with her and Lilia" ... But no. He's still staying over tonight but oh my God I just cannot even speak to him! I am SO annoyed!
The worst part is he keeps on asking why I'm pissed. I mean come on, ANYONE would know why I'm pissed! He basically just chose weed over his own daughter and his girlfriend.. How could he?!?!?!?!?! Now I officially hate him smoking the stuff, because I know it's more important than his family, and I really am questioning this relationship.. Again. I mean what good is he as a boyfriend or a dad if he'd rather a spliff with a mate than a cuddle with his pregnant girlfriend and daughter who he hasn't spent time alone with in DAAAYS?!
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I just breathed a sigh of relief after getting all that off my chest! Thank you readers!
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