Thursday, 28 June 2012

Twelve month jabs :(

My poor little angel had her twelve month jabs today. Not one, not two, but THREE needles. It was awful. I refused to hold her for her first ever jabs as I was too scared and didn't know what to expect. I held her for her next two lots, and I coped. For her one year old jabs however, I couldn't cope. I was too nervous about going alone because of her age and how aware she is now. Not only that but I knew I would cry - I am SUCH a pregnant, hormonal, idiot, and knowing my baby was going to get hurt and not being able to prevent the pain was too much for me to handle. James was in work and couldn't really take any time off, so I asked my friend to come with me. She was the one who came to Lilia's first ever jabs, and she was amazing. She agreed to support me.
As soon as we got to the surgery I was getting nervous and emotional. Lilia fell asleep right before we got to the surgery, so I woke her up as soon as we were in. I figured it would be nicer to wake her up once we got there and were waiting rather than waking her up to take her in and be poked and prodded. So I woke her up and surprisingly she didn't mind. She liked being in a new place and loved nosing at all the other babies that were there (Thursday's are baby surgery day, when everyone has their jabs or check ups). She was doing good, I stripped her down to her nappy to be weighed and waited to be called. My health visitor called us in to weigh her, and she now weighs 23lbs exactly. We got sent back into the waiting room while the nurse prepared the vaccinations.
We got called in five minutes later and in the two second walk to the door I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, I was so nervous for my little girl. I hate her being hurt. The nurse assumed my friend was her mother as she was holding her, I was a little embarrassed when I said that I am her mother, I'm just too scared to hold her.. But she just laughed and said it was quite common for lots of babies, especially ones at this age. I heard her telling my friend that she had to hold her extremely tight because at that age they wriggle and squirm and do everything in their power to get away from the nasty lady putting them in pain. It was at that point that I turned around. I never look with her jabs anyway, but I literally walked to the other end of the room and tried to read all the posters that were put up to take my mind off it.. Then all I heard was "okay are you ready?" and Lilia SCREAMED. I have never heard her scream like that before, ever. She has had bumps and bruises and bleeds before, she has been hurt and knows pain, but never have I heard her scream like that. Ever. She whimpered, and then screamed again. I could tell in her cry when each needle was entering her leg. My poor, poor baby. I started to tear up, but tried to concentrate on the posters so I wouldn't look like a complete fool. I wanted to leave the room so bad, and had asked the nurse so many times in my head. I wanted to leave, but decided that would be selfish of me. I should be there to cuddle her when it's done. So I stayed, and heard her scream one more time after my friend had switched her over to the other leg. As soon as I knew they were done I turned around. The nurse put a plaster over her leg and I grabbed her straight away. My friend was flustered and shaking, I was shaking, Lilia was shaking.. It was just one big mess.
We went back out in to the waiting room and had to wait there for ten minutes. During those ten minutes I gave Lilia some milk and some chocolate buttons, along with plenty of kisses and cuddles. She was fine within two minutes of being out of the nurses room. It was obviously just the shock and the hurt that made her cry, they weren't hurting her anymore. We waited the ten minutes and then made our way back to my house. We sat outside on a bench for a little while and Lilia sat in her pram babbling away and playing with her toes. My Princess was totally fine, thank God.
She has been fine for the rest of the day, but being a mother I still worry. It is 12:22am right now, I have to be up early in the morning for a visitor to the house, but I just can't sleep.. I want to make sure I'm awake just in case anything happens. Not that it will.. But just in case. My poor little baby, I am so dreading going through it again with Tyler. The one year jabs have to be the worst. I am hoping her next lot (aged three, I think) are better. But if she's anything like me I know they won't be.
Lilia had her turn today, and I have mine on Saturday. I have my twenty eight weeks bloods (a week late) in the morning and I am so dreading them. I hate needles and hate blood... Will I faint? Probably. But Lilia was a very brave girl, so I have to be too.

No comments:

Post a Comment